My dirty little secret

I'm going to catch a lot of flak for this. I mean a lot. Not all of it is undeserved--I've handed out quite a bit of shit for this one, So I'll take my medicine like a man. Bring it on.

I'm watching American Idol. By myself.

It all started courtesy of Jason and Tedrah (thanks a lot guys! bastards...). They forced me to watch it last week, and while most of it was a painful experience it was made less so by the inordinate number of mind-altering beverages I'd had by that point.

Now I find myself watching it for four reason:
1) making fun of all the really bad performances is fun. Even if i'm only talking to the dogs.
2) Katherine McPhee. sweet jesus she's hot. I don't really care what she sounds like.
3) Paris bennett. She ain't real bright, but she can sing like its going out of style. Its rare to see talent like that at her age. My one bitch is this: Paris, you're 17. Dress like it. You may have a voice like Etta James, but Marilyn Monroe you are not.

Finally, my favorite:
4) Chris Daughtry. Seriously. Dude, what are you wasting your time on Idol for? Nothing good can come of it. People go to Idol when they can't sing but still manage to perform, or can sing but haven't got an ounce of creative talent. I'll say it again: What the fuck are you wasting your time on this show for?

I think I'm going to start doing a podcast or something along with the show. There's just too much fodder there. Take young Bucky for instance. Every time i see him on stage I'm reminded of this art history professor I had once. This guy had a fascination with several paintings (I think they were early Victorian, but don't quote me on that.) Anyway, he kept pointing out that the reason the subjects always had their legs spread out was because of the raging case of syphillis they had. Now, I can't really speak to the veracity of that statement. But every time I see Bucky up there, all i notice is that the guy never puts his legs together! So from now on I'll be referring to Bucky as Syphillis Boy. Syphillis Boy can sing ok, although its obvious he's mostly imitating other rockers. Mostly he's just Syphillis Boy though.